Bigfoot Spotted in Colorado???

To quote Glennon Doyle on seeing her future wife Abby Wambach for the first time: There she is.

Oh my god, it’s been AGES since we had a decent Bigfoot sighting!!! I’m so pleased she’s getting back out there. TMZ is on it. Newsweek is on it. Even Pop Base is on it.

Here’s what happened: the luckiest people in the entire WORLD were on a steam-engine train ride from Durango to Silverton, Colorado — I need to do this NOW — when they spotted a surprisingly hairy bipedal creature walking through the hillside, matching its sand-colored background almost exactly. A few good citizens promptly took pictures and video:

One such witness, a woman named Shannon Parker, of whom I am so jealous, posted her evidence to Facebook, writing “Y’all, out of the hundreds of people on the train, three or four of us actually saw, as Stetson says in the video , the ever elusive creature Bigfoot! I don’t know about y’all but We Believe!!”

#imwithher!!!!! Look at this picture, I’m obsessed.

Haha, ahhhhh.

Look at that gait! Patty-esque, no?

I know what you’re thinking: wouldn’t this be a fun gig for someone who works for the touristy train company that passes this spot? Well, sure. I once took a short, touristy train ride outside the Grand Canyon, and there was a surprise pretend takeover by weirdly flirtatious bandits in cowboy costumes. It’s been done.

However — Parker says the conductor denied any knowledge of such a scheme, and others noted that getting to that particular spot in the mountains would require travel by train or canoe, which is a lot of work, especially when schlepping a Sasquatch suit. I have not yet completed a topographical study to determine whether or not this assessment is accurate. I also think if it were DEFINITELY a part of the train ride the conductor would have urged everyone to look out the window, right… ???

If it’s a hoax, it’s a pretty good one, and I look forward to seeing its perpetrator unmasked. And put in jail.

Anyway, I think the last Bigfoot I remember getting excited about was the Provo Canyon encounter in 2012 — it’s so exciting when they run away at the end!

And here’s a video of a separate encounter in Provo County (also in 2012!) in which the witness breathes very heavily, and Bigfoot throws rocks at him.

What do YOU think about the Colorado Bigfoot video? I am pretty sure it’s her.

Odds & Ends

• New York published an interview with Dr. David Spergel, a Princeton professor of astrophysics and head of the NASA-appointed UAP Independent Study Team. Am I jealous I didn’t speak to him myself? Of course. I thought this part was so cool: “Any extraterrestrial life form is probably a billion years less advanced than us or a billion years more advanced. A billion years less advanced, it’s bacteria. If it’s a billion years more advanced, I don’t think people can grapple with what they would be like. If you brought someone from 1,000 years ago to a street in New York, they’d be blown away.”

• Did you know there is a Loch Ness Monster-themed horror movie coming out (straight to streaming) on November 7? It is called “The Loch Ness Horror.” A girl shoots a handgun at Nessie in it, and not as many people are Scottish as you might think. I can’t wait.

xo

Katie